Aquinas, Causes of Love, and Marriage

Adam and Dave discuss causes of love and marriage

Aquinas, Causes of Love, and Marriage

Scroll to the bottom of the page for the show transcript


Become a Patron!


About our drink:

Johnnie Walker 18 year old

Johnnie Walker Aged 18 Years is made using whiskies that have matured for at least 18 years. Carefully chosen for their flavor and quality, these whiskies make for a wonderful combination of both classic and contemporary tastes – blending notes of citrus and fragrant almonds, with warm vanilla and a hint of tropical tangerines. When you’re looking for a whisky to make an occasion or celebration extra special, Johnnie Walker Aged 18 Years is an excellent choice.

About our gear:

No gear this week but something to do with your wife.

You and your wife write down the top 10 things that make you the happiest. Share the 10 things and think about if what you do throughout the day moves you closer to those things or further away.

This idea came from reading the book Playing with Frie by Scott Rieckens

About the Topic:

  1. The Good as a Cause of Love
  1. That it is (ST I-II:26:1)

“As stated above (Q. XXVI., A. 1), Love belongs to the appetitive power which is a passive faculty. Wherefore its object stands in relation to it as the cause of its movement or act. Therefore the cause of love must needs be love’s object. Now the proper object of love is the good; because, as stated above (Q. XXVI., AA. 1, 2), love implies a certain connaturalness or complacency of the lover for the thing beloved, and to everything, that thing is a good, which is akin and proportionate to it. It follows, therefore, that good is the proper cause of love.

  1. Application to Married Life
  • The more virtuous, the more loveable.
  • Foster natural virtues (prudence, temperance, fortitude, and justice)
  • Foster supernatural virtues (faith, hope, and love)
  1. Beauty as a Cause of Love
  2. That it is (ST I-II:26:1 ad 3)

The beautiful is the same as the good, and they differ in aspect only. For since good is what all seek, the notion of good is that which calms the desire; while the notion of the beautiful is that which calms the desire, by being seen or known. Consequently those senses chiefly regard the beautiful, which are the most cognitive, viz., sight and hearing, as ministering to reason; for we speak of beautiful sights and beautiful sounds. But in reference to the other objects of the other senses, we do not use the expression beautiful, for we do not speak of beautiful tastes, and beautiful odours. Thus it is evident that beauty adds to goodness a relation to the cognitive faculty: so that good means that which simply pleases the appetite; while the beautiful is something pleasant to apprehend.”

  1. Application to Married Life
  • The more beautiful, the more loveable.
  • Beauty as seen: e.g., physical appearances, external behavior, facial expression of mood, etc.
  • Beauty as known: e.g., knowledge of spouses life, skills, ideas, etc.
  1. Knowledge is Cause of Love
  2. That it is (ST I-II:26:2)

“As stated above (A. 1), good is the cause of love, as being its object. But good is not the object of the appetite, except as apprehended. And therefore love demands some apprehension of the good that is loved. For this reason the Philosopher (Ethic. ix. 5, 12) says that bodily sight is the beginning of sensitive love: and in like manner the contemplation of spiritual beauty or goodness is the beginning of spiritual love. Accordingly knowledge is the cause of love for the same reason as good is, which can be loved only if known.”

  1. Application to Married Life
  • The more knowledge we have of our spouses, the move loveable they become.
  • Deep and meaningful conversation fosters growth in knowledge of spouse.
  1. Likeness is Cause of Love
  2. That it is (ST I-II:26:3)

“Likeness, properly speaking, is a cause of love . . . One kind of likeness arises from each thing having the same quality actually: for example, two things possessing the quality of whiteness are said to be alike . . . [this] kind of likeness causes love of friendship or well-wishing. For the very fact that two men are alike, having, as it were, one form, makes them to be, in a manner, one in that form: thus two men are one thing in the species of humanity, and two white men are one thing in whiteness. Hence the affections of one tend to the other, as being one with him; and he wishes good to him as to himself.”

  1. Application to Married Life
  • It often occurs when one excels in an area and the other doesn’t, there can be tension. As such, we should strive to attain likeness or commonality in some areas of the spousal friendship.
  • E.g., exercise, topics of study, laughing at memes, etc.

TIME CODES:If this is your first time listening to The Catholic Man Show, we do 3 things almost every episode:1.) Open, review, and enjoy a man beverage – Minutes 1-12.2.) Highlight a man gear – Minutes 12-24.

3.) Have a manly conversation – Minutes 24-48

If you haven’t listened to The Catholic Man Show before, check out our previous episodes here.

Subscribe to our  YouTube channel to watch past episodes. provides accountability, curation, community, and personal growth. SIGN UP USING PROMO CODE, “CATHOLICMAN” AND GET 25% OFF THE FIRST 3 MONTHS.

Want to help The Catholic Man Show?

By giving us a rating on iTunes, it helps others find the show.

Want to say up with The Catholic Man Show? Sign up for our mailing list: Click Here

Looking for a prayer to pray with your wife? Check this blog out.

Are you getting our emails? Sign up for our (almost) monthly newsletter where we give you all bacon content – never spam. 


If you enjoyed this episode of The Catholic Man Show and are looking to protect your family from the dangers of the internet, go to Covenant Eyes and use promo code “Catholicman” for a 30-day free trial of keeping your family safe.

Image result for covenant eyes

About the author, Adam

Adam is the Director of Communications for the Diocese of Tulsa and Eastern Oklahoma, CEO of St. Michael Catholic Radio, Co-host of TCMS, Author from Ascension Press, Husband and Father of 5 children.

Leave a Comment