​Dave asked for a family update, and Adam finally had the one he wasn’t sure he’d get to give. Baby Mary has handled every step down on her oxygen, and after a conference room full of her doctors went through her case one specialty at a time, the plan is to bring her home, likely by the end of October. She’ll keep growing there on low-flow oxygen until her open-heart surgery this winter. After a year when the hard way became the normal way, the kids have finally met their sister. Adam wants everyone who’s been praying to hear his thanks. Keep praying for Mary. Praise God.Sponsors:OréMoose Most of what we buy is made fast and made cheap. OréMoose goes the other direction, with handmade Catholic leather goods you’ll pass down instead of throw out. Code TCMS gets you 30% off everything at oremoose.com.Alto by Ascension A monthly prayer companion you can actually hold: Morning and Night Prayer, the daily Mass readings, reflections and a monthly study, mailed to your door. With Advent coming, now’s a good time to start. Code TCMS10 takes 10% off.Select International Tours The name Adam and Dave heard over and over when they planned their first pilgrimage, and the one they’d recommend now. Take a look at selectinternationaltours.com.Dave had a milestone too. Four years after setting the goal, he slaughtered a full-grown pig by himself and scraped it until his forearms cramped and the scraper fell out of his hand. He ate some pickles and persevered. The next day his oldest girls wrapped and labeled roasts in butcher paper like seasoned farm kids. Another night the family prayed the Rosary around the fire pit, one of the kids leading from up in a tree. That led to the car Rosary, which is every morning for Adam’s family right now. No shade on it, but there’s a hierarchy of goods.In the glass: Friendly Territory, a Scotch Malt Whisky Society bottling of 13-year-old Dailuaine finished in first-fill European oak PX butts. Dark cherry on the nose, velvet on the palate. Given that the topic was admonishing the sinner, the name fits.Adam came at fraternal correction from running a company. A manager who won’t correct an employee isn’t being kind. He’s being unfair, because the man never gets the chance to improve. Dave put it in religious terms: if charity is willing the good of the other, keeping quiet while your brother eats poison isn’t charity.Dave brought the Catechism and the old list of nine ways to share in another man’s sin, silence among them. Then St. Thomas, for whom correction is an affirmative precept: it always binds, but not on every occasion. You need a reasonable hope it’ll help, certainty about the sin, and a method that won’t cause a bigger scandal. Adam admitted he could hide behind that first condition: I’m only 45% sure this goes well, so I’m off the hook. Dave’s answer: it’s a reasonable hope, not reasonable knowledge. Cowardice doesn’t get a vote.The podcast tail earns its length. Adam lays out a method he took from a pagan, Cicero, that sounds a lot like the critique sandwich, and somebody gets admonished on air for saying “rhetoric device.” Then Adam hands Dave two hard cases: friends who fight the same sin, and a dad who comes back to the Faith with teenagers at home. Dave’s answer to the first is the line of the night. Sin doesn’t equal hypocrisy. His answer to the second starts with an apology to the kids.Pray before you say a word. Ask your guardian angel to talk to his. Then go, because friends don’t let friends sin.Raise your glass.TOPICS COVEREDWhy neither host can do an accent, and the Oklahoma drawl that New Yorkers hear as GeorgiaRecording a 20-minute ad, which is short for TCMSA Catholic marketplace full of prayer products, and what that says about demand for a better prayer lifeAdam’s update on baby Mary: a care conference, tapering oxygen, and plans to bring her home before heart surgeryHow easy it would be to fall into anxiety without community and a prayer lifeDave’s first solo hog slaughter, forearm cramps, and persevering with picklesFarm kids who know how to wrap a roast in butcher paperA family Rosary by the fire pit, led from a treeOctober as the month of the Rosary, and the car Rosary in a hierarchy of goodsSMWS Friendly Territory, and why it’s scotch season 14 months a yearWhy managers who won’t correct employees are being unfair to themCharity as willing the good of the other, and why it obliges us to speakFraternal correction as a matter of both charity and justice, and the sin of omission for fathers who don’t correctAdmonishing the sinner on the traditional list of spiritual works of mercySt. Thomas on why spiritual works of mercy are nobler than corporal onesHow silence about a brother’s sin turns into gossip and backbitingThe Catechism on cooperating in the sins of othersThe nine ways of being an accessory to another’s sinAffirmative versus negative preceptsThe conditions that oblige you to correct: reasonable hope of amendment, certainty of the sin, and a method that doesn’t cause greater scandalUsing “reasonable hope” as a shield for cowardiceWhether you’re the right person to say it, or whether it should come from a parent or a friendChrist’s method in Matthew 18: privately, then with witnesses, then to the ChurchPreserving your brother’s good namePublic sins and public rebuke in Aquinas, and why it takes the right personExcommunication as medicine, not punishment for its own sakeBecoming a “spiritual Karen,” and the beam in your own eyeHyperfixating on one virtue and the disorder it createsCicero’s method and the critique sandwichCan you correct a friend who struggles with the same sin you do?A father who comes back to the Faith with teenagers, and why he starts with an apologyPatience and good counsel when a man’s wife isn’t on board yetWhy admonishing works best in true friendshipAsking your guardian angel to talk to the other man’s guardian angel firstREFERENCED IN THIS EPISODESt. Thomas Aquinas:Summa Theologiae II-II, Q. 33, “Of Fraternal Correction”, including a. 2 (correction as a matter of precept), a. 6 (forbearing when correction would make the sinner worse), and a. 7 (public sins reproved publicly, citing 1 Timothy 5:20)Summa Theologiae II-II, Q. 32, a. 3, on spiritual almsdeeds being better than corporal ones because the soul is nobler than the bodyCharity as willing the good of another (see Catechism 1766, citing ST I-II, Q. 26, a. 4)The Catechism and tradition:Catechism of the Catholic Church 1868, on our responsibility for the sins of others when we cooperate in themCatechism 2447, on the spiritual works of mercyThe traditional seven spiritual works of mercy, which put “admonish the sinner” firstThe nine ways of being an accessory to another’s sin: by counsel, by command, by consent, by provocation, by praise or flattery, by concealment, by partaking, by silence, and by defense of the ill doneExcommunication and the Church’s medicinal penaltiesScripture:Matthew 18:15-17, correcting a brother privately, then with witnesses, then before the ChurchMatthew 7:3-5, the beam and the splinterEphesians 4:26, “Be angry, but do not sin” (the “very vague Bible reference” on air)Matthew 13:5-6, 20-21, the seed on rocky groundRevelation 21:27, nothing unclean shall enter heavenSaints and other voices:St. John Chrysostom, paraphrased on air on the silent friend being worse than an enemyCicero, the source Adam credits for his method of delivering hard newsBrandon Sheard of Farmstead MeatsmithIn the glass:The Scotch Malt Whisky Society, Friendly Territory, a 13-year-old Dailuaine (Speyside), ex-bourbon hogsheads, finished in first-fill European oak PX buttsCommunity:The men at the TCMS Camp Out who’ve been praying for MaryJim, absent and admonished anywayLast week’s guardian angels episodeSponsors:OréMoose, code TCMS for 30% offAlto by Ascension, code TCMS10 for 10% offSelect International Tours