We asked Father Bethel about the Great Silence, which he had mentioned earlier. We also wanted advice for families at home. In a monastery, he explained, the Great Silence technically means the night silence. The monks keep it from Compline until Prime, which works out to about twelve hours. Emergencies are the obvious exception. Even then, they speak only when necessary or for some charitable reason.
What the Great Silence Looks Like at Clear Creek
The Day Has a Shape
The silence doesn’t switch off at breakfast. Father Bethel described a good hour of lecture before High Mass, meant to be a prayerful time. After Mass, things open up for work and classes, and talking is for necessity. It is still serious talk rather than chatting.
Recreation comes after lunch, and the monks can talk as much as they want. Then it’s back to work, where they stay silent unless something requires speech. Later come spiritual reading, mental prayer around 5:30, Vespers at 6, dinner, the rosary, and Compline. Father Bethel compared the end of the day to flowers closing up.
Small Rules That Add Up
There are smaller rules too. Nobody talks in the church unless it’s about something for the church. Voices stay soft. In the halls by the cells, monks talk at the door so the other rooms don’t hear. Why does any of this matter? Father Bethel said it marks the place as holy. It also builds an atmosphere of prayer, so the monks stay aware that they are in God’s presence.
A Family Version
One of us borrowed the idea at home and called it the Great Silence. He was honest about it. A lot of the time it sounds like him yelling at the kids to be quiet. We compared it to the Sistine Chapel, where men keep shouting at you to be quiet.
The rule is quiet until 8 o’clock every morning. The kids get up at 7 and spend time in prayer. A ten-year-old prays ten minutes, and an eleven-year-old prays eleven. Dad prays a lot longer, since he has more problems than they do. Then they do their chores, also in silence, so the work becomes part of the prayer.
Father Bethel liked it a lot. He added that a prayerful corner in the house can become a little pocket of silence. He has heard of families that keep an hour of quiet, with dads at work and mom at home. We haven’t tried the evening version yet, and mornings are easier.
How Much Silence Is Enough?
We asked how much silence a husband and father needs to set aside. One of us wondered whether it’s a kind of justice, something we owe God. Someone had floated the idea of tithing a tenth of the day. Father Bethel said that can include spiritual reading and prayer.
Beyond the daily rhythm, he said we need longer retreats. He recalled one author who suggested a day a month and several days once a year. You don’t have to spend the night at a monastery, though some people do. Around the Ember Days, some people come to Clear Creek for a day.
The main thing is to build a habit of silence. That means not always talking to ourselves inside or imagining things. It means becoming used to God’s presence. Someone with a deep habit of silence can go out and be very busy, talking, preaching, and teaching. That is the goal of seminary and religious life. You build the habit first, so you can give yourself to the world properly.
Noise Is Not Always the Problem
Father Bethel also told us a story. A book on the Rule says it’s hard to pray when there’s noise near the church. However, some monks he knew had lived through World War II. They told him it was quite easy to pray during a bombardment. One of us joked that you have never prayed so well.
Silence Is Not the Goal by Itself
One of us asked whether silence can become a tool. Setting aside time to be silent for silence’s sake would miss the point, and Father Bethel agreed. He suggested a twenty-minute prayer time. Read a little, pray a little, and then, if you can, finish with a short silent gaze.
Before the Blessed Sacrament, he said, it can be that simple. He is there. He is looking at me. He is shining out on me. Sometimes you have to think it through more, but the gaze is a relationship, not a technique. If your parish men’s group is looking for a retreat, our speaking page is a good place to start. For the whole conversation, listen to the episode.
