Being a gentleman
Being a Gentleman: From Head to Toe
Here are some of the bare essentials of being a gentleman that Adam and David highlighted.
The Head
Gentleman,
Most have moved away from formal hats and have gravitated to ball caps. Regardless of the type of hat, a gentleman should remember when to remove it:
- When indoors except in a places which are similar to public streets: lobbies, corridors, department stores, or office buildings.
- Men should remove their hats in times of prayer. When in church, at a funeral, wedding, baptism, dedication, or any religious event.
- Eating dinner. Men should never wear hats when at the dinner table
The Ears, Eyes and Mouth
Gentlemen,
Ears:
- We have 2 ears and 1 mouth. We are made to listen more than we speak. When your wife speaks to you, listen to her. Give her your full attention. This shows you care about what she is saying.
- Be careful what music you listen to. Most modern music is full of filth. Listening to music full of profanity does not set a good example to those around you nor glorifies the kingdom of God. Also, as a pure act of modesty, listen to your music at moderate volumes — your neighbors will thank you.
Mouth:
- The vows you take in the sacrament of marriage, you say, “For better and for worse, in sickness and in health”. We are called to build up our spouse regardless of our current situation. When you are with a group of friends, never belittle or speak ill of your spouse. You are trying to get each other to heaven, tearing each other down is counter-productive. Embrace and love the faults of your spouse, they will sanctify you.
- Avoid cursing. Many forget the 2nd commandment: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.”
Eyes:
- Look people in the eyes when introducing yourself and when having a conversation.
- As men it is virtuous to keep custody of the eyes. If you can’t offer up what you are looking at to our Lord, it is probably best to be looking elsewhere.
The Shoulders
Gentlemen,
It is important to dress appropriately for each occasion. You don’t wear a suit and tie to go mow the yard. Similarly, you don’t wear a t-shirt and cutoff jean shorts to a wedding. When you take your family to church, it is important to bring the best presentation of yourself to church. This sets an example to your children that going to church is an important thing the family does and is different than other activities throughout the week.
The Hands
Gentlemen,
- Firmly shake hands for all introductions and all goodbyes to men — but don’t ever offer your hand to a woman unless she extends hers first. When she holds out her hand, you’re supposed to do the shaking: two or three short up and down movements is adequate. Remember women could have rings on their fingers so don’t squeeze too tight.
- Hold open doors, car doors, and help women down the stairs even if it is inconvenient.
The Knees
Gentlemen,
As John Wayne said in the movie, McLintock, “You must be a man before you can be a gentleman”. To be a man means to sacrifice for your family. The man of the house is both a spiritual and physical protector of the family. It is an injustice to your family if you don’t get down on his knees and pray for them everyday. You lead by example in all aspects of life… this includes your prayer life.
The Feet
Gentlemen,
- Hop to them whenever a woman enters a room where you are sitting, and stand on them until she sits or goes. An old school gentleman never sits unless and until all women in the room are also sitting; and then, unless he is in his own house, he sits only on invitation.
- Stand up for men, too, for introductions, greetings, leave-takings. This “comes natural”; it’s not comfortable to shake hands from a sitting position, so you stand whenever a handshake is imminent.
- Stand up when someone, man or woman, is trying to pass in front of you in a row of theatre seats or in a church pew. Only a very small child can squeeze between your knees and the next row of seats, no matter how tight you think you’ve drawn yourself up.
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About the author, Adam
Adam is the Director of Communications for the Diocese of Tulsa and Eastern Oklahoma, CEO of St. Michael Catholic Radio, Co-host of TCMS, Author from Ascension Press, Husband and Father of 5 children.